Wednesday, 2 April 2014

EXAMINATIONS THAT WE FACED - A NECESSARY EVIL?

     One of my favorite medicine teacher used to describe examinations in general  as "a botheration to the population of the Indian nation whose main occupation is cultivation". Examinations during MBBS are no better. Most of us still get nightmares about appearing for the examination. The general pass percentage those days was 30% which meant 2 out of 3 students who appeared failed; only 1 passed! One therefore, we appeared  for the examination expecting a failure! Those who cleared all subjects in the first attempt without failure naturally were the best and could clear any examination national or international they chose to appear later.
      This brings back some memories of examinations we faced during the MBBS course. We had theory and practical exams. Theory exams consisted of 5 questions of 16 marks each (essay questions) where long answers wee expected. The 6 th question was for 20 marks which was subdivided into 3 or 4 short note questions. For those who had prepared well there was not enough time to complete the paper. Those who had read little, there was nothing to do for 3 hours - either way this was complicated! If one  answered all questions, he  barely manged to pass - it was always possible to find out what one missed! There were a few students who would habitually appear for the exam every 6 months and fail. They were "super casuals". During the exam, I was surprised to find  one such person writing continuosly for 3 hours. He failed! When I asked him for the reason, he said "didn't match"! I asked him "what didn't match?" He said he randomly wrote 6 answers( he had prepared only that much) without reading the question paper hoping these answers would match the questions-  and unfortunately it did not match with the question paper! Then, there was this guy who brought ready made answers to expected questions in various parts of his body - folded chits hidden in collar, folds of shirt, below the belt, inside the socks etc. Why did he fail then ? He lost the master index slip telling him where he had hidden each piece and so could not locate any paper!
       Clinical exams were a different ball game - students have to examine patients and diagnose them. Better students go by the clinical findings. The others go by the incidental clues -  Red lungiwala has Mitral Stenosis. On one occasion, the patient had a bath and changed his lungi before the exam with disastrous consequences! Worse still, a patient visitor came wearing a red lungi and he was told by a 'super casual' that he surely had Mitral Stenosis. When the person strongly objected the student persisted the official list says so "But  you are wearing a red lungi!" The tuberculosis patient had no slippers  - so said the list - the day before the exam a philanthropic organisation donated slippers  to some poor patients. The patient of tuberculosis was not diagnosed properly because of that! Another clue was the bed number. The patient on bed no 7 was supposed to be having anemia due to malnutrition. To the bad luck of students the patient went home the previous night and the new patient was fat and well fed. Despite the obvious, the student presented  this case as thin and undernourished much to the dismay of the examiners!
       As a part of the examination some specimens were kept. One part of the liver was kept in a jar of formalin. The professor asked the student "What do you think would have happened to the owner of this liver?" meaning thereby what disease he might have suffered from-was the student in a position to tell by looking at the given specimen? The student coolly replied " I should be able to answer your question after a few days". Perplexed, the examiner asked him why so, for which the student replied "I expect him to be alive as he has he remaining part with him. He therefore will surely come looking  for this part too!"
       The cake was taken by a clinical exam in Surgery. A student was appearing for the 6th time. The examiner took pity and  and decided to pass him on one  condition - he cannot practice Surgery and that he has to promise the same keeping his hand on Bhagavat gita. The student did so and he passed. Everyone including the examiner was surprised to find him join MS Surgery the next year. The examiner asked him why did he not keep up his promise. The student replied " I will do my MS sir - that is for getting a fat dowry. With that money, I will build a good hospital. I will never operate. In fact, I was wondering whether you could join after your retirement"!

No comments:

Post a Comment